Minsu / pg-13 / 1132w / angst
Junsu has a client that comes every Friday night.
A/N: this wouldn't leave me alone. Junsu is some sort of lap dancer (?)/ stripper.. In case that isn't clear. Inspired by the song "El proximo viernes" which means next friday interpreted by Thalia. Sooo some dialogues are from there. That song it's all "happy" and I made this. This wasn't supposed to be so angsty but... oh well. First try at minsu which is a couple I love because they are fluffy and I do this D: wtf. UN-BETAEDDDD so all mistakes are mine and I would appreciate if you tell me where they are OTL. Concrit is welcome~ /sighs/ it just wouldn't leave me alone D:! just don't kill me >.< (?)
Next Friday. I can’t.
It’s Friday night. And here you are, always punctual. In the same room as always. The one in the back. Like the day we met.
I remember it so clearly, the way your eyes were shining so brightly with curiosity and innocence and how that hyung of yours said I was your birthday gif and your eyes were so wide open and glistening with fear. And then you couldn’t look at me all blushed. So adorable.
That night I took something precious for you. Your cluelessness and your innocence, sort of speak. You did knew what you were doing you were just shy. But I took it all anyway.
In exchange you took something precious from me. So I think it’s fair.
After that day you came alone. And it took you a while to ask for me again. I did notice you pretending to enjoy the girl’s company. I know how you don’t fully accept yourself and think of this as some dirty secret you need to keep buried 3 meters down for people to never find out for all the wrong reasons.
Either way I smile at you when your eyes lay on me. I see them traveling from head to toe. I know the sparkling outfits that barely cover me freaks you out so I am wearing a good pair of jeans and a nice shirt. I don’t even think about smiling or doing my job properly it just comes out so naturally on Fridays when I see you in your nice shirt and tie and those dress pants. Everyone knows I am taken on Fridays anyway so I dress as you like. May be you work in an office, may be you are a lawyer. One of these Fridays you’ll tell me. Now, sometimes you dare to look into my eyes. Now, you don’t even need to ask for me because I am your usual.
“Hello Max.” I say huskily. You look away embarrassed. I only call you that because you asked me to.
I sit next to you and you still, almost as if you were a statue. The only thing giving you away is the erratic beat of your heart that matches the rhythm of mine.
“How have you been, baby?” You reach immediately for the glass on the table.
I usually talk to you and you never answer. At least not verbally. You often nod or just hum and there was that one time when I was just babbling and you grabbed my hand to shut me up. I know that you try to forget all your troubles with the alcohol. You once said that your work, whatever is that you do, caused you lots of stress so you came here to forget about it.
I know you do it to forget me.
You don’t even touch me. Even if you give me money that I never accept.
I reach out to touch your cheek and you lean back refusing my touch.
“Baby, I am not that bad.”
With your shyness I get to touch you to my desire’s wish. I sit across your lap and I put one of your hands on my hip, the other on my lap. I know you want to hold me tight, even when your hands never cling to me. I kiss your cheek, “come on its fine.” You hold me tighter. You closed your eyes so I kiss them and I hear how you take a gasp of air and exhale it slowly. You even dampen your lips and I almost giggle. Instead, I kiss your forehead and you almost whine. I could eat you up. But I want you to open your eyes and look at me. So I whisper right next to your ear and you force yourself to do so. I see your glistening eyes fixing on my mouth. Your hand is at the back of my neck yet you can’t pull me to meet your lips. I can read your face like an open book by now I know you are struggling with yourself and you know I know this. You are ashamed of yourself once again.
You are ashamed of this.
And then I steal a kiss from your lips. A tender press of lips saying more than needed. You kiss me back. This is right.
We separate and you caress my face. You rub your thumb across my cheek as if making sure that I am real. That is not a dream. I see the fear in your eyes. I need to tell you something you already know.
“You know that I like- no. I love you.” You blush again, you look into my eyes and I see myself reflected in them.
I hug you with so much tenderness and you nod. I want to believe that it means. me too.
I know we are not in and ideal situation. God knows all the things I’ve done and I know you can imagine a few of them but know this I do love you.
“I love you so much.”
That night you let me call your name when your hands said to my body the things your words never say to me.
You even said something to me. My name.
You let me cuddle you and you cuddle me back.
When I pretended to fall asleep you started dressing up. You put an envelope on the bedside table that I always try to ignore.
“You know all you have to do is ask.” I say into the pillow but I know you heard me. Even in the darkness of the room I can feel how he goes stiff. The red neon light that gets through the window let me make out his outline. He stands there with his back turned to me.
I wonder when are you going to face me, when are you going to answer me and If you ever are going to accept yourself. The crack in my heart becomes a little bit bigger and even over there, in your hands, I can feel it suffering for both of us.
He closes his fists, barely shakes his head and walks away. He looks at me one last time before closing the door.
I close my eyes and ignore the sting in my eyes. I grab the envelope and save it. I keep it next to the others at home. There’s probably the same note in it as in the others.
Changmin didn’t come on next Friday or the next to that one. Junsu was always available on Friday night waiting for him but Changmin never came back.
Junsu lost something precious to him. Eventually he read that last note and cried a little.